Are You Okay?

A friend on FB posted this statement the other day:

You aren’t where you want to be because you are okay with where you are.

I read the statement and something within me literally lept. Yes! I thought to myself, that’s exactly it. That’s exactly why so many people are stuck where they’ve been and not doing what they want to do. Okay, let me be honest – so many people, including me, until recently. 

I recently made a major move in my life. Seriously, the biggest change to my life since getting married 22 years ago and deciding to have a couple of kids. This move will literally change the trajectory of my life…I walked away from a decades long, wildly successful corporate career – with much promise of continued success, and the opportunity to probably soon hold a c-suite position at a pretty large organization. Yep, I left it all behind for full time entrepreneurship and an opportunity to be my best self – spiritual, physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

It’s scary to be honest, but oh my is it exhilarating. There is a surge of energy and enthusiasm I’ve not felt in a very long time. I was sitting at my mom’s dining room table working on a project, when I unknowingly threw my hands in the air and started dancing in my seat. After a few seconds, I realized everyone else in the room was looking at me. My husband inquired, “what was that about” to which I responded, “I don’t know, just felt right in the moment”. I then returned to work. 

Later that evening I was thinking about it and asking myself what made me just burst out in dance. I came to the conclusion that it was simple, unfiltered joy. I was truly experiencing joy in that moment. Joy to have listened to that quiet still voice of God nudging me to admit I was not where I wanted to be because I was in okay with where I was – well okay, His voice wasn’t quiet any longer, it was blaring and all types of sirens were going off, but you get my drift. 

If you know my story you know I’ve always wanted to be a full-time entrepreneur helping black women be their best selves. I’ve always had a foot in the entrepreneurial world. I’ve run a few businesses with Q over the last 20 years or so but I was okay with my corporate gig. I was okay getting a paycheck every two weeks, I was okay with the benefits, I was okay with the people I worked with, I was okay with the work, I was okay being on the leadership fast track, I was okay being the confidential landing space for so many conversations and bits of information, I was okay with my employer, I was okay with my corporate reputation, I was okay navigating corporate waters (damn good at it, if I might say so myself). 

But there was a war going on inside of me. A war that was starting to take its toll spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. Being “okay with it” was starting to turn into stagnation which for me was becoming more and more unbearable.  It was beginning to show up in ways I couldn’t hide. Nope it wasn’t the organization, it was me. The organization was doing exactly what it was supposed to do – moving toward its goals. But I was not doing what I’d been put here to do. I was just okay. I don’t believe God called me (or any of us) to just be okay.

I couldn’t be where I wanted – needed – to be because I was okay where I was. Now as I move in this very uncomfortable space it’s stretching me in ways I never knew it would and I’m literally just getting started. But moving away from just “okay” is not only causing me to stretch and grow – it’s causing me to throw up my hands and dance in the middle of a room full of people. It’s causing me to experience joy and true fulfillment in my work. 

Consider this – you may not be where you want to be because you are okay where you are. 

I don’t want to just be okay, I want to experience more throwing of my hands in the air and dancing out of unfiltered joy because I’m no longer just okay but instead I’m joyfully moving in purpose. I know it won’t always be easy but that’s okay because God’s got me and that’s the only “okay” I’m okay with now. 

Thanks for unknowingly providing a writing prompt for me Mr. Dennard Calmese. This one’s for you 🙂